| bowdown |

Kanye West and recent G.O.O.D. signee Pusha T took over Hot 97 w/ Funkmaster Flex this week and treated listeners to a candid interview and a scorching freestyle set. The blogs are on fire, and for good reason. Pusha's everything is on a hundred thousand trillion, and I'm glad because I've been nut-hugging him ever since I heard "Grindin."

Push paid Kanye lip service by introducing him as the best rapper in the world, but it ain't hard to tell that his wordplay, pacing and delivery are simply in another league. (Dare I say on Eminem's level?) Just watch Kanye's reaction after Pusha's first verse: there aren't too many MC's that would want to follow that up. "Wow" is right.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the freestyle that has the net abuzz. I'm out of words for this. Yeeeuck..

| bad, real bad: Do We Miss MJ Yet? |

 

Why, oh why, would the legendary Quincy Jones risk one of his greatest hits with T-fucking-Pain and also-ran Robin Thicke? "P.Y.T." is my favourite MJ tune. It's better than "Thriller." Better than "Beat It." I'd even put it above "Human Nature," which I love to no end. I have no doubt that The King of Pop is doing a spinning nut grab in his grave this very minute. So imagine my motivation to make this my second Bad, Real Bad post in the last 12 hours.

My heart just sank hearing T-Pain's modulated runs paint a shit streak across the song's iconic opening guitar riffs. I can't even begin to describe how much my hate juices are brewing for this remake. This is about as egregious as asking Flo-Rida to cover "Juicy."  Can you imagine how awful that would be? This is worse.

The music industry needs to adopt a system to retire certain songs. Just like how players in the NHL can ever wear No. 99, there are just some songs that should never be touched again. You're messing with greatness here, Teddy! Nobody wants to hear this shit. And those who do (aka teens and younger) don't get a vote because they don't know what classic music is. Shit, I'm 26 and even I can admit I've barely scratched the surface when it comes to anything pre-1990.

Now almost an hour later, I've just pushed the play button for the 7th or 8th time and just realized that I think I would rather listen to the house band on Dancing With The Stars. I would even go so far as to say I'd rather put on my Beats headphones and blast Fergie Live. (Please click this link. It's effin' deadly.) Seriously though, I don't think I could possibly stress any more how badly this song is harshing my ears.

Quincy Jones has done some great things in his time - things that I could only dream to accomplish. My gripe here is: it's one thing if this is a one-off, but it's a whole album of this stuff! Check out this tracklisting. Save for a few names, this album is chock-full of people who have no business even breathing near these songs. It's a poorly-disguised money grab, and it makes me want to download a bunch of Quincy Jones songs and rip him off for even trying to get me to go out and buy this CD.

I didn't cry when MJ died. I think tonight was the first time I really actually missed him.

| bad, real bad: KING HAMMER |

I normally wouldn't bother writing about some stupid rap beef, but this one is so bad that it's good. Those of us following Kanye West's streak of Friday-night dominance will have heard Jay-Z's killer line about MC Hammer on "So Appalled." Enraged, MC Hammer KING HAMMER took to Twitter to announce his plans to fire back at Hov. And so it is: November 1st, 2010, will go down in history as the day the 48 year-old Hammer took a futile swing at one of rap's all-time titans. And missed.

This track accomplishes little more than a fart in a windstorm. It's another painful reminder why faded stars should stay faded. You had hits and spawned an iconic Halloween outfit or two... but PLEASE, mighty King Hammer, never step into a booth ever again.

Watch below if you want to see Hammer train MMA, attempt dance moves way too hard for him, and generally move his hands way more than he needs to. Oh yeah, he also baptizes(!) a Jay-Z lookalike. Oh, the badness!